I did not want to deal with the inner chaos so I did what I could to suppress it and avoid it. I didn’t realize that makes it worse. I developed sexual addiction, and then I discovered getting drunk and high. I thought I had found what I needed for people to like me, but it turned into a nightmare. After lots of lying, manipulation, seeking immediate pleasure despite adverse consequences, and 3 DUIs within 3 years, I decided something needed to change.
This began my journey of discovering how to fight. It has been painful and teary eyed, but more crying on the inside than the outside. I would come to learn that drinking, pornography, people pleasing, whatever, are only symptoms of an underlying problem. I thought quitting drinking was the solution.
I was missing so much.
I still had obsessive compulsive thinking, in fact, it got worse after I quit drinking. My main suppression tool was taken away. Stuff started rising to the surface. When I received my one year medallion with a 12-step group, I had been on a porn binge that very day.
I didn’t know it then, but for years I would not exercise discipline and finish tasks because of fear. I made the connection from 2 Timothy 1:7, thanks to Dr. Caroline Leaf, that fear prevents discipline. Because of fear and deep seated emotional hangups I distracted myself and sabotaged those tasks.
In 2014 I was working with a church while taking 3 Master’s classes, plus dealing with a highly stressful situation in the church. I denied how it was affecting me. I had Ulcerative Colitis during this time, also known as Satan. I was diagnosed with it in 2009, I believe as a result of my toxic thoughts, beliefs, and diet.
In April of that year things took a nasty turn. I landed in the hospital for about 11 weeks. I went from around 200 pounds to 135 (I’m 6’4). I had two major surgeries within a week of each other. As a result I am physically altered for life. Just google ileostomy.
Out of that experience I developed a deeper passion to explore holistic health centered in Jesus. I began to realize more and more that Jesus followers for a large part do not view health as God intended. I began to see that I was avoiding dealing with emotional toxicity in my life.
I started changing the way I viewed God, and my obsessive compulsive thinking started easing. I deepened my intention to eat real food designed by God for us to eat. I started studying holistic nutrition on a deeper level. In fall of 2015 I enrolled into The Institute of Transformational Nutrition.
Episode 45 of my podcast explains why I took that direction and what that looks like with the podcast. I had another realization at ITN LIVE 2016. I was listening to Shawn Stevenson speak (go ahead and pitch your jealous fit before continuing to read) and he brought up being yourself in your business. He took the stage in air Jordan’s, jeans, and a t-shirt. He is Shawn. This also comes through on his podcast.
I realized that I had not been being myself on my podcast. When we deprive the world of us as God designed us, we deprive them of the value we should be bringing them. We best help people when we are ourselves, and we deprive them when we are not, and we are not because of fear.
My wife told me early on in the podcast I didn’t sound like myself, but I kept pretending anyway. At ITN LIVE, I brought this realization up to my ITN family. I was told that the Trent they were learning that weekend did not come through on the podcast. I knew right then what I needed to do.
I decided to do an episode explaining my stage performance, how not being yourself affects your health, and my intention to let myself shine from then on.
Prior to that realization, I still interviewed amazing guests who brought super valuable information to the table. Those episodes are and will remain up because they have helped and will help people.
God designed us to be uniquely us, and when we are not, our health will suffer.
Through my own fight, training, and helping others, I have compiled 7 principles that encompass what I believe it means to fight for your health, heart, body, and soul.
Living with chronic sinus infections, headaches, and digestive issues is not normal. Neither is living in fear and chronic stress. You were not designed to live that way, and you do not have to live that way.
I know when I live out these principles I feel amazing. You can too.
The key is not to make living this way an end in itself, but to do it to God’s glory.